\u8d62\u5f97\u8fa9\u8bba\u7684\u552f\u4e00\u65b9\u6cd5\u5c31\u662f\u907f\u514d\u8fa9\u8bba\u2014\u2014\u6234\u5c14\u00b7\u5361\u8010\u57fa<\/p>
The only way to win an argument is to avoid it — Dale Carnegie<\/p>
\u591a\u6570\u4ea4\u8c08\u969c\u788d\u6e90\u4e8e\u6050\u60e7\u3002\u4eba\u4eec\u603b\u662f\u5173\u5fc3\u4ed6\u4eba\u600e\u6837\u770b\u5f85\u81ea\u5df1\u3002\u8fd9\u4e9b\u969c\u788d\u4f7f\u4ed6\u4eec\u5f88\u96be\u4ee5\u4e00\u79cd\u6734\u5b9e\u548c\u771f\u8bda\u7684\u65b9\u5f0f\u53bb\u548c\u4ed6\u4eba\u4ea4\u8c08\u3002<\/p>
Most conversational barriers stem from fear. People are always concerned about what others think of them. These obstacles make it difficult for them to talk to others in an honest and sincere way.<\/p>
\u969c\u788d1\uff1a\u201c\u6211\u662f\u5bf9\u7684\uff0c\u4f60\u662f\u9519\u7684\u201d\u3002\u6709\u4e9b\u4eba\u8ba4\u4e3a\u987a\u5229\u7684\u4ea4\u8c08\u5c31\u662f\u8d62\u5f97\u8fa9\u8bba\u6216\u8005\u8ba8\u8bba\u3002\u4ed6\u4eec\u628a\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\u4f5c\u4e3a\u6bcb\u5eb8\u7f6e\u7591\u7684\u4e8b\u5b9e\u3002\u8fd9\u4e9b\u4eba\u662f\u7279\u610f\u6765\u8bf4\u660e\u4ed6\u4eec\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\u6bd4\u5bf9\u65b9\u7684\u8981\u597d\u3002\u4ed6\u7684\u76ee\u7684\u662f\u7edd\u4e0d\u80fd\u8f93\u6389\u8fa9\u8bba\uff0c\u8868\u660e\u4ed6\u662f\u5bf9\u7684\uff0c\u5e76\u201c\u8d62\u5f97\u201d\u4ea4\u8c08\u3002\u8fd9\u79cd\u5c01\u95ed\u548c\u4fb5\u72af\u6027\u7684\u6001\u5ea6\u5c06\u4e0d\u5141\u8bb8\u4ed6\u4eba\u4ee5\u4efb\u4f55\u6709\u610f\u4e49\u7684\u65b9\u5f0f\u5411\u4f60\u655e\u5f00\u5fc3\u6249\u3002\u7279\u522b\u662f\u5728\u4e00\u4e9b\u66f4\u654f\u611f\u7684\u611f\u60c5\u9886\u57df\u3002<\/p>
Obstacle 1: “I’m right and you’re wrong”. Some people think that having a good conversation means winning an argument or discussion. They present their views as undisputed facts. These people go out of their way to show that their point of view is better than the other’s. His aim was never to lose an argument, to show that he was right, and to “win” the conversation. This closed and aggressive attitude will not allow others to open up to you in any meaningful way. Especially in some of the more sensitive areas of emotion.<\/p>
\u5f53\u8ba8\u8bba\u7684\u8bdd\u9898\u906d\u9047\u4e0d\u540c\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\u65f6\uff0c\u7edd\u5bf9\u7684\u6b63\u786e\u548c\u6211\u4eec\u5047\u5b9a\u7684\u6b63\u786e\u662f\u6709\u5f88\u5927\u5dee\u522b\u7684\u3002\u901a\u5e38\uff0c\u6211\u4eec\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\u53ef\u80fd\u6765\u81ea\u6211\u4eec\u7684\u559c\u597d\u3001\u504f\u89c1\u3001\u731c\u6d4b\uff0c\u4ee5\u53ca\u6211\u4eec\u7684\u5904\u5883\uff0c\u4ed6\u4e0d\u4e00\u5b9a\u662f\u4e8b\u5b9e\u3002\u4e0d\u8981\u628a\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\u5f3a\u52a0\u4e8e\u4ed6\u4eba\u3002\u8868\u660e\u4f60\u6709\u7406\u89e3\u5bf9\u65b9\u89c2\u70b9\u7684\u613f\u671b\u3002\u9f13\u52b1\u4ed6\u5411\u4f60\u655e\u5f00\u5fc3\u6249\u3002\u66f4\u5bb9\u6613\u8ba9\u4ed6\u63a5\u53d7\u4f60\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\u3002\u8bd5\u7740\u53bb\u8ba9\u4ed6\u4eba\u660e\u767d\u4f60\u7684\u60f3\u6cd5\u548c\u611f\u53d7\uff0c\u8fd9\u70b9\u5f88\u91cd\u8981\u3002<\/p>
When different opinions are presented on a topic, there is a big difference between being absolutely right and what we assume to be right. Often, our opinions may come from our preferences, biases, guesses, or our situation, and they may not be the truth. Don’t impose your views on others. Show a desire to understand the other person’s point of view. Encourage him to open up to you. It’s easier to get him to accept your point of view. It is important to try to make others understand what you are thinking and feeling.<\/p>
\u5f53\u4f60\u4e0d\u540c\u610f\u4ed6\u4eba\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\u65f6\uff0c\u8981\u907f\u514d\u4f7f\u7528\u4ea4\u8c08\u6740\u624b\uff0c\u5982\u201c\u4f60\u7edd\u5bf9\u9519\u4e86\uff01\u201d\u6216\u8005\u201c\u4f60\u600e\u4e48\u4f1a\u6709\u5982\u6b64\u611a\u8822\u7684\u60f3\u6cd5\u5462\uff1f\u201d\u5f53\u4f60\u542c\u5230\u4e0d\u540c\u89c2\u70b9\u65f6\uff0c\u4f60\u53ef\u4ee5\u8fd9\u6837\u8bf4\uff1a\u201c\u5728\u6211\u770b\u6765\u2026\u2026\u201d\u201c\u6211\u662f\u8fd9\u6837\u770b\u7684\u2026\u2026\u201d\u201c\u636e\u6211\u7684\u7ecf\u9a8c\u6765\u770b\u2026\u2026\u201d\u201c\u5728\u6211\u5370\u8c61\u4e2d\u2026\u2026\u201d<\/p>
Avoid conversational killers when you disagree with someone, such as “You’re absolutely wrong!” “Or” How could you have such a stupid idea?” When you hear different opinions, you can say something like, “It seems to me that\u2026” “Here’s how I look at it\u2026” “In my experience\u2026” “As far as I can remember\u2026”<\/p>
\u5982\u679c\u4ed6\u4eba\u4e0d\u540c\u610f\u4f60\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\uff0c\u6700\u597d\u8fd9\u6837\u8bf4\uff1a\u201c\u6211\u60f3\u6211\u4eec\u6709\u4e0d\u540c\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\u3002\u201d\u6216\u8005\u201c\u770b\u5f97\u51fa\u4f60\u6709\u4e0d\u540c\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\uff0c\u4f60\u5f53\u7136\u53ef\u4ee5\u6709\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\u3002\u201d\u8bb0\u4f4f\uff0c\u4f60\u6709\u8d44\u683c\u6709\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\uff0c\u4ed6\u4eba\u540c\u6837\u4e5f\u6709\u3002<\/p>
If the other person disagrees with you, it’s better to say, “I think we have different points of view.” “Or” I see you have a different point of view. You are certainly allowed to have your own point of view.” Remember, you are entitled to your opinion, and so are others.<\/p>
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Obstacle 2: “I know this man like the back of my hand!” When you jump to conclusions too quickly, you may be creating a “face” for someone without realizing it. When he fits into your “face” in one way or another, you immediately think, “Look, that’s who he is.” People who jump to conclusions about other people based on individual experiences are just as incredible as asking you to believe you can tell a lot about a person based on their car, occupation, or clothing. Sure, you can glean something from these details, but if you rely too much on them, your conclusions are likely to be based on stereotypes. You get a picture, not a picture of a person. People don’t want to be seen that way. And once you see them that way, they will immediately sense it and see you the same way.<\/p>
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Obstacle 3: “Fear of expressing what you want to do”. Express your preferences (even if they may be the opposite of your partner’s). If you don’t express your preferences, tastes, wants and desires, people won’t know what you like or what your goals are. People aren’t good at reading what you want, and they won’t know unless you say it or show them what you want. If you can’t express your true feelings, it can lead to hostility, resentment and guilt. Do what you want, and don’t be shy about saying what you want without deferring to other people’s feelings and rights. You have the right to do what you want and not to do what you don’t want to do. It’s better to ask for what you want than to wait for others to guess and give it.<\/p>
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If you say yes when you really want to say no, or you’re not sure, then you can say: “Let me think about it” or “I’ll let you know.” “Or” I’ll call you later.” It’s not about agreeing to all of the suggestions (even the ones you don’t want), but about offering alternatives. State your opinions and preferences, and the other person will learn more about who you are, what you want, and what you think about the topic and the activity.<\/p>
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Would people think I was selfish if I did what I wanted, instead of what others wanted? Some people feel guilty for doing their own thing and think that others will be upset. They believe that others will find that they are selfish enough to be violated and hurt. If you do something that other people don’t like, you fear that they won’t like you and that it keeps you from pursuing your goals and needs. If you live this way, it shows that you are overly sensitive to the approval and opinions of others. It reinforces your sense of autonomy by stating that you have the right to act on your own interests, without giving up on what you want, your needs, and your goals because others may not agree. Otherwise you will be doomed to a life of frustration and disappointment based solely on “What do others think of me? To respond to the world around you.<\/p>
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Stand up for your rights and do what you want. Be direct and honest with others about your goals, intentions, and motivations — without their approval.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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